Ahead of the release of Selena Gomez's documentary, "My Mind and Me," the singer and actress is opening up about her thoughts on how it will be perceived by audiences and more.
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Gomez said "she's so nervous" about the release of her documentary, which takes an unfiltered look into her battle with anxiety and depression as well as lupus, an autoimmune disease. She also said she was going back and forth about releasing it.
"Because I have the platform I have, it's kind of like I'm sacrificing myself a little bit for a greater purpose," she said. "I don't want that to sound dramatic, but I almost wasn't going to put this out. God's honest truth, a few weeks ago, I wasn't sure I could do it."
The documentary, which is directed by Alek Keshishian, the filmmaker behind Madonna's 1991 documentary, "Madonna: Truth or Dare," follows Gomez in her mental health journey and how she's dealt with the struggles that have come with it over the past few years.
Gomez first revealed that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2020 during an episode of Miley Cyrus' Instagram Live show, "Bright Minded." Prior to learning about that diagnosis, she was also diagnosed with lupus in 2015, which can be triggered by stress. In 2017, she received a kidney transplant after the disease affected the organ.
In her interview with Rolling Stone, she revealed that she has also been to four treatment centers because of her mental health struggles.
"I think when I started hitting my early 20s is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad," she said. "It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation. …Then it just was me not being able to move from my bed."
"I didn't want anyone to talk to me," she continued. "My friends would bring me food because they love me, but none of us knew what it was. Sometimes it was weeks I'd be in bed, to where even walking downstairs would get me out of breath."
Gomez added that while she never attempted suicide, she spent a few years contemplating it saying, "I thought the world would be better if I wasn't there."
MORE: Selena Gomez on creating Wondermind, a new platform designed to help people feel 'they're not alone'Since her diagnosis with bipolar disorder, the "Rare" singer said she was prescribed different medications, which helped a bit, but said that they had an effect on her. A psychiatrist helped wean her off some of the medications, except for two, which she currently takes today.
"I had to detox, essentially, from the medications I was on," she said. "It took a lot of hard work for me to (a) accept that I was bipolar, but (b) learn how to deal with it because it wasn't going to go away."
Because of the two prescriptions she takes for her bipolar disorder, she added that she may have to make adjustments when it comes time to have children.
"That's a very big, big present thing in my life," she said. "However I'm meant to have them, I will."
The American College of Gynecology recommends that women who are thinking about becoming pregnant discuss with their physician the risks and benefits of how certain medications may affect their pregnancy, their baby, and their own health. This includes some medications that may be used to treat bipolar disorder.
While Gomez still has some reservations about releasing "My Mind and Me" and has only seen it a few times, she decided that it was in fact important to share it when she realized the film's impact.
"I wanted someone to say, 'Selena, this is too intense.' But everyone was like, 'I'm really moved, but are you ready to do this? And are you comfortable,'" she said. "I was like, 'OK, if I can just ddo that for one person, imagine what it could do.' Eventually, I just kind of went for it. I just said, 'Yes.'"
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. You can reach Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860 (U.S.) or 877-330-6366 (Canada) and The Trevor Project at 866-488-7386.
