Holidays are a time to come together and make memories, but too often, phones take over and steal the moments that matter most.
"Screens can be a barrier to true connection during the holidays," says Hansa Bhargava, MD, an Atlanta-based pediatrician and spokesperson for the Center for Excellence in Media and Mental Health at the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Studies show that excessive phone use during family gatherings can create emotional distance and heighten feelings of loneliness.
A 2020 study found that nearly 40% of people use devices during family time, and over 15% use them at dinner—a habit linked to worse communication and lower well-being.
To help families stay in the present this holiday season, Bhargava shared her top eight tips for setting healthier boundaries for screen use.
1. Start with a family conversation
Bhargava recommended kicking off the holidays by sitting down with your family to discuss the importance of spending time together without screens. Explain how being chronically online can lead to missing out on a funny story at dinner, joking with cousins, or some good advice from grandma. A simple conversation about why this matters can set the tone for the season, she said.
2. Agree on rules and consequences
Set clear expectations around when and where phones should be put away, such as during meals, family walks, or gift-opening. Agree on consequences ahead of time so there are no surprises.
"Establishing these rules before the holidays can make it easier to enforce them later," Bhargava advised.
3. Tailor guidelines by age
Younger children may need stricter boundaries, like handing over their devices during specific times. For teens and tweens, expect some negotiation. "Making them part of the decision-making process helps prevent power struggles," Bhargava explained.
4. Be a role model
Children often mirror their parents’ behavior, so model good media habits yourself. Put your phone in another room during meals or family activities.
"Your actions speak louder than your words," said Bhargava. "If you’re scrolling, they’ll feel justified in doing the same," she said.
5. Plan engaging family activities
Replace screen time with planned activities like movie nights, baking cookies, or playing board games. One recent study found that preteens who unplug for even a few days improve their ability to read emotional cues by over 30%. Keeping everyone engaged helps make screens less tempting.
MORE: Social psychologist says kids shouldn’t have smartphones before high school6. Involve extended family
When relatives visit, make sure everyone is on the same page. Consider distributing a "holiday media plan" for the group, outlining phone-free times or zones. Consistency reinforces expectations for kids and parents alike. "It’s easier to enforce rules when the whole tribe is aligned," Bhargava noted.
7. Allow some screen time
Not all screen use creates a sense of isolation. Gathering for a cozy movie night with hot chocolate and holiday treats, for example, creates a shared moment minus the constant scrolling. "It’s about balance," Bhargava said. "The goal is to limit screens during interactive family moments like meals, not to eliminate them entirely."
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff
The holidays can be stressful enough without aiming for perfection. Accept that not every moment will go as planned. "Parents need to remember that they can’t control everything," Bhargava said. "Give yourself grace and focus on what’s most important: being together."
As Bhargava pointed out, the holidays are an opportunity to connect, laugh, and build memories—but that can’t happen if everyone is glued to their screens.
"Setting boundaries and being intentional about device use can make all the difference," she said.
This article is part of the ABC News Medical Unit's ongoing Mental State: Loneliness Epidemic project, which highlights ways to build stronger connections in an increasingly disconnected world.
