Stephanie Meredith is the co-author of “Diagnosis to Delivery: A Pregnant Mother’s Guide to Down syndrome” and “Welcoming a Newborn with Down syndrome” at downsyndromepregnancy.org.
Feeling reflective today and was hoping I could share some thoughts with you younger moms.
My son, Andy, [with Down syndrome] is 18 years old, and I just wanted to let you know that our life is really awesome even though I'm a slacker a lot of the time.
I'm the type of mom who forgets to finish the whole bottle of antibiotics, I fudged it with therapy sometimes, we've never done any supplements because I can't afford or keep track of that, and he's played a lot of Mine Craft and watched a lot of "Batman."
The only thing I've been really consistent about is advocating for inclusion at school, church, and extracurricular activities. He's not a super academic kid, but he's cool and has lots of friends and got himself a job at 16.
So if I can offer one piece of advice when I'm feeling reflective, it's this -- just assume your child belongs. If your kid wants to do karate or go to YMCA camp or join the yearbook staff, just sign them up, even if you meet the occasional jerk swim coach or gymnastics teacher along the way. Don't ask permission -- our kids have a right to be wherever they want to be, and most people will just roll with it.
If I can offer one piece of advice when I'm feeling reflective, it's this--just assume your child belongs. If your kid wants to do karate or go to YMCA camp or join the yearbook staff, just sign them up, even if you meet the occasional jerk swim coach or gymnastics teacher along the way. Don't ask permission -- our kids have a right to be wherever they want to be, and most people will just roll with it.
And some will be incredible -- like the bike coach who made it her mission to teach Andy how to ride the mountain bike trails. You might have to set up some supports like arranging for a peer buddy to go with them to day camp, but just throw them into the world as much as you can and see how they can soar.
Because we have assumed Andy belongs, he just assumes that also. He just calls up friends to ask them to take him bowling or out to lunch ... and they do it. And he rode his own bike to the grocery store to apply for a job... and they gave it to him. The future is bright -- not because we've done anything extraordinary ... but because we've embraced the ordinary.
