On the mat, gymnast Jordan Chiles is confident, carefree and the biggest hype person for her fellow teammates.
"I may be competing for a spot too, but I want everyone to win," she told Teen Vogue in an interview as the magazine's July/August cover star. "I do my best gymnastics when I am out there relaxed and helping others feel supported."
But that confidence hasn't always come naturally for the 23-year-old, who opened up about how body-shaming she experienced, as well as racism she experienced as a Black gymnast, made her feel unwelcome in the sport.
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When she was just starting out in her gymnastics career, Chiles recalled being told she "had to 'look a certain way.'"
"I was traumatized when I was younger," she said. "I was getting weighed. I was told I could only eat certain things."
Chiles detailed her relationship with food earlier this year in an interview with People, saying that she was "shamed into thinking I wasn't fit enough and that I should just consume clear-based soups."
The habits Chiles said she developed became something she had to unlearn overtime. She also said that she began seeing the Women's National Team sports psychologist to "ask for help." Today, she said it's still an ongoing process.
"Sometimes I'll eat it, but I won't eat the whole thing," Chiles told Teen Vogue about "cheat meals" like ice cream. "Because that's kind of where that trauma comes into play. It's like you feel somebody's always looking at you."
US women's gymnastics clinches gold at world championshipsChiles has also given herself grace when it comes to food and has changed her mindset.
"As I've gotten older, I've realized we're human," she said. "Our bodies go through different changes. I'm a woman, so obviously, when it comes to hormonal situations or my cycle, I can't control that."
In addition to the body-shaming Chiles said she experienced, the gymnast, who is Black and Latina, said that she's also faced racial discrimination.
She recalled her mom telling her about an incident as a child during a competition when a lady in the crowd pointed at Chiles and said, "'She doesn't deserve to be on the floor. She doesn't even look like anybody else.'"
"People were racially attacking me without me even really knowing," Chiles said. "Security had to come and say, 'Ma'am, she's doing everything just like everybody else.' I've gotten medals taken away from me. I've been told that my mom wasn't my mom. I've gotten told that I wasn't Black."
In past interviews, Chiles has also been open about microaggressions she's experienced in the gym about her hair and the color of her skin, which said affected her self-esteem.
"There was just times where my self-esteem got to a point where I didn't want to be on the earth anymore," Chiles told "The Squeeze" podcast in January. "I didn't want anything to do with my life. I was like, 'What's the point if I'm always going to get told something?'"
Chiles said that seeking professional help has improved her mental health over the years and said that asking for help has helped her "feel more confident in myself."
"I'm able to be the Jordan that I've always wanted to be when I first started gymnastics," she said.
Chiles, who is on the Team USA gymnastics squad and will be competing in the 2024 Paris Olympics alongside Simone Biles, Jade Carey, Suni Lee and Hezly Rivera, said she hopes her story empowers young gymnasts experiencing similar situations to stand up for themselves.
"I can tell the younger generation, 'Look, if this ever happens, use your voice, say what you need to say. And if you get kicked out of the gym, you get kicked out of the gym,'" she said. "'But at least you were able to stand up for yourself. At least you were able to tell them how you truly feel.'"
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