Chrissy Teigen is opening up about her complicated relationship with alcohol in an emotional Instagram post on Friday.
In a photo shared to her account, the cookbook author and model holds "Quit Like a Woman," the bestselling book by sobriety advocate Holly Whitaker, who joined her for the latest episode of Teigen's podcast.
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend reveal son diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes"Oh man. I've been dreading today's podcast release since the moment we shot it," Teigen begins, before admitting, "I let [alcohol] back into my life. To let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply."
Teigen has spoken candidly in the past about quitting drinking, citing "Quit Like a Woman" as the catalyst for her original decision to go sober in 2020.
But in Thursday's post, she admits that her journey hasn't been linear.
"I one hundred percent know I like me better sober," she writes. "I absolutely feel better in my body without it. And I am one hundred percent pissed that I can't be normal and have a cocktail with my husband on vacay without it turning into 8 and feeling like s--."
"I'm tired of throwing up on a Tuesday. I don't wanna feel like I need a shot to talk to a crowd. I hate that the thought of maybe having a drink can consume me some days," she continued.
While she says she isn't committing to complete abstinence right now, she emphasizes the mindfulness she's trying to bring to her decisions, noting moments of joy at concerts and kids' birthday parties where she's been present and sober.
"This is for all the people who are figuring it out," she writes. "And to the sober community, god I am still so, so proud of you."
