The widows of hockey player brothers Matthew and Johnny Gaudreau are speaking out about their grief nearly one year after their husbands were killed by an alleged drunk driver.
"He kissed all of us goodbye -- just in the driveway at his parents' house. And that was the last time I saw him," Johnny Gaudreau's wife, Meredith Gaudreau, told ABC News.
MORE: Matthew Gaudreau's widow gives birth 4 months after he was killed by alleged drunk driverJohnny Gaudreau, 31, a Columbus Blue Jackets star, and Matthew Gaudreau, 29, a former pro hockey player, died on Aug. 29, 2024. The brothers were riding bikes in New Jersey on the eve of their sister's wedding when they were struck by a driver suspected of being under the influence of alcohol, according to police. The suspected driver was arrested and has pleaded not guilty to charges of aggravated manslaughter, vehicular homicide, evidence tampering and leaving the scene of an accident.
"There's no healing when you didn't get a goodbye," Matthew Gaudreau's wife, Madeline Gaudreau, said.
At the brothers' funeral, Meredith said she told her husband "that I would take care of our kids, and I thanked him for such a great life."
At the time of the brothers' deaths, Meredith was a mom to her and Johnny’s two young children.
Meredith said her 2-year-old daughter "asks for him a lot. But she says, 'Daddy's in heaven,' and I'm starting to explain to her what heaven is, really. She, you know, wants to go to heaven and she says, 'I want him to come back,' or, 'Let's call him.'"
MORE: Columbus Blue Jackets star Johnny Gaudreau killed after being hit by alleged drunk driver: Police
Madeline and Meredith were also both pregnant when their husbands died.
Madeline's baby, Tripp, was born four months later and Meredith gave birth to baby Carter eight months after the crash.
“Carter looks exactly like him, and he's the happiest 4-month-old I've ever seen," Meredith said. "He just doesn't stop smiling, and I think it's really special, because, you know, he's shining through in Carter, I think, a lot. Can't imagine how happy John would be if he was here.”
"Tripp's now hitting milestones," Madeline said, "so that's heartbreaking because Matt was super excited to be a dad."
Madeline said she started writing to her husband every night, starting a few days after his death.
"Lately it's been like, oh, you know, 'Tripp has two teeth now, but I know you know this.' Because it's hard for me to write and think that Matt isn't seeing this," she said.
Asked if there was anything she hadn't said to Matthew that she wanted to say now, Madeline responded, "'Thank you for making me a mom.' Because for a long time, Matt has wanted kids."
Madeline said she miscarried in February 2024 before getting pregnant with Tripp in March 2024.
"I never thanked him for making me a mom," she said.
Amid their grief, Meredith and Madeline dreamed up the John and Matthew Gaudreau Foundation to support youth hockey initiatives and hockey families who’ve suffered similar tragedies. The Gaudreau brothers were both hockey stars at Boston College. Johnny Gaudreau became a seven-time All-Star in the NHL while Matthew retired from professional hockey to coach youth hockey.
"It was never lost on John and Matty about how expensive it is to maintain hockey as a hobby, especially. You have to start so young," Meredith said.
The sisters-in-law have been leaning on their community, and each other, over the last year as they keep their husbands' memories alive.
Asked how they'd want their husbands to be remembered, Meredith said of Johnny, "Everyone knows him as an amazing hockey player. ... I want him to be remembered as someone who was a really good father."
Madeline said she wants Matthew to be remembered as "a good soul. He was just a pure, happy, good soul, fearless."
"He made me a better person," Madeline said.
