Emily Balcetis, Ph.D., is an associate professor of psychology at New York University and the author of the book, "Clearer, Closer, Better: How Successful People See the World." Here, she shares four ways you can envision and achieve your own goals.
We might think of mastering our biggest goals and conquering some of our toughest challenges in the same way we might think of building a house from scratch.
Now, I’m not a carpenter, electrician, plumber or mason. So, if I ever sit down to plan my dream home, I know I’ll need to call in each of these heavy hitters to get the job done. The same goes for our goals.
Here I offer four tools that we can use when we’re building out our ideal life.
And these four tools share one thing in common: they are all about helping us to see the plans we make to meet our goals -- the blueprints of our lives -- in new and different ways.
When my son was 4 months old, I decided to learn to play drums. Just one song, but since we were living in a one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, I knew this would pose some very real challenges.
But it was a goal that mattered to me, because it was a way to reclaim some personal time back from new motherhood.
To inspire the formation of good habits, we can construct our surrounding in a way that will trigger the choices we need to make. The visual sparks we intentionally put in our line of sight, inside our visual frame, can inspire choices that better align with our long-term goals.
For me, setting up the drum kit near the front door acted as a reminder to practice -- a visual reminder I couldn't escape.
MORE: Already forgot your New Year's resolutions? Here are 4 tips to reset 2020In a similar light, when dieters leave fruit on the counter and chips behind a closed cabinet door, they tip the odds in favor of snagging a healthier snack.
What we leave out of the frame can be just as important as what is in it. The rate of cigarette purchases, for instance, dropped dramatically in cities and countries once laws were implemented that required cigarettes remain visually hidden. Out of sight, out of mouth.
What we see triggers what we do. With that in mind, we can intentionally choose what lies in our visual frame and inspire our own better choices.
When goals seem far away or the end state in the distant future, they can seem overwhelming from the outset. But narrowing our visual focus on that finish line helps overcome the challenge that this distance might bring.
One semester I was working with 60 students. All had jobs to pay tuition and bills. I asked if they were currently saving any of their money for retirement.
Despite the financial benefits of starting small and starting early with retirement savings -- fiscal analyses they were aware of -- 55 out of those 60 said no. When I asked why, the most commonly offered explanation was something like, "retirement just seems so far away."
To connect their current financial decisions with their own future experience, I snapped a picture of their face, blended that image with that of an older esteemed person, like Maya Angelou and Betty White. I presented them with their headshots that aged them about 45 years and had them visualize their life at that point in time. The pictures took them all by surprise. But more than that, it changed how these twenty-somethings thought about time. Now, the future seemed nearer, their choices now more relevant for their retirement years to come and their interest in saving for retirement much stronger.
MORE: How to set achievable goals for 2020We can find other ways of narrowing our focus on the future when we have trouble connecting what we are doing today with the outcomes we'll experience later on.
Try visualizing the person you want to be in two months two years, or two decades to bridge the gap between now and then.
What does life look like then? Who are you spending time with? What do you do with your day?
Now think about what you want to and should do now to help those far off dreams come true.
We fear failure. It's almost a culture taboo to admit we experienced it. As a result, we double down on a project that hasn't proven lucrative. We invest more in an option that is not paying off.
But, when we take a step back, and see our goal from a broader perspective -- with a wide bracket -- we find new ways forward that we did not see before which might mean giving up on the path we originally set out on.
Vera Wang is one of the most sought-after and successful contemporary female fashion designers. Though we likely know her for her empire of tulle, we might not know she started her career as a figure skater.
After early success, her competitive edge plateaued. By taking a step back and seeing what she wanted in life from a wider perspective, she knew she should regroup.
Giving up, in some regards, might actually be the best route forward. Research finds that people who struggle to cut themselves off from working on a goal they can't accomplish experience dangerously, chronic stress level compared to people disengage when the timing is right. Finding a new path to the end goal can lead to faster and better progress.
We are skilled rationalizers. We can justify away what we might consider to be maladaptive choices, like treat days to a dieter or shopping sprees to someone cutting down debt.
Often, we do this by considering them in isolation, saying to ourselves something like, "It was just one day. I'll start fresh tomorrow." In so doing, we forget that we succumbed to temptation, and are likely to do it again. And again.
MORE: How to make your own DIY vision board to crush your 2020 goalsWe can cut this cycle, though, by concretely recording, taking note and remembering how we spend our time, money, calories or other resources. When we materialize, we hold ourselves accountable for the forward or backward progress we make.
I tested this out on myself. I wanted to know where my disposable income went and used an app to track my unintended purchases for two weeks. I set my phone to ask me every three or four hours whether I had spent any money I had not intended to that day since last it asked me. If I confirmed I had, it asked on what. I recorded all my responses to each question.
In two weeks, I had spent $75.30 thoughtlessly and spontaneously. Now, that's not going to break the bank but it was certainly more than I had realized I had spent from one day to the next. And I learned it was entirely on midday (and midmorning) snacks.
MORE: No. 1 trick to making resolutions that stickAt New York City rates, the total cost of my unintended expenditures could have bought me instead almost four hours of babysitting -- a rare luxury and freedom that in hindsight I value a lot more than pastries and a second cup of morning coffee.
