Influencer Emilie Kiser is speaking out for the first time since her 3-year-old son Trigg died following a drowning incident in May.
Kiser shared an Instagram post with a lengthy message, her first post in three months, on Thursday.
"Loss of this magnitude feels impossible to put into words. I've spent days, weeks, months trying to find them and also take the time I've needed to digest the loss of my baby," Kiser wrote.
Kiser's late son Trigg died following a drowning incident in the family's backyard pool in Arizona, Maricopa County Attorney Rachel Mitchell told ABC News previously. Kiser had not been home at the time; her husband Brady Kiser was home with their two sons.
Police in Chandler, Arizona, had recommended in July that Brady Kiser face a felony charge of child abuse in Trigg's drowning death, but the Maricopa County Attorney's Office later determined there was not enough evidence to charge the father of two.
In her Instagram post Thursday, Kiser remembered her late son as her and her husband's "best friend."
"Trigg is our baby and our best friend. The light and spirit he brought into this world was bright, pure, joyful, and undeniable," the mom and social media influencer wrote. "We miss him every second of every day and continuing forward often feels unbearable."
"I never thought we would experience grief in this way or the pain of losing him so suddenly," she continued. "It's a pain, heartache, and void that no family should ever have to endure."
Kiser reflected on what she could have done differently, describing Trigg's unexpected death as a preventable one.
"I take full accountability as Trigg's mother, and I know I should have done more to protect him. One of the hardest lessons I carry is that a permanent pool fence could have saved his life, and it's something I will never overlook again," Kiser wrote. "I hope amidst this pain, Trigg's story will help prevent other children and families from suffering the same loss."
Kiser went on to thank her family and friends for their support and "unconditional love," as well as social media followers and strangers who showed her and her family support.
Since Trigg's death, Kiser and her family have been subjected to increased public attention, and the influencer said she plans to make changes to draw necessary boundaries.
"I have always been my authentic self on social media and tried my best to share my everyday life honestly, while also being mindful of what I didn't choose to share," Kiser wrote. "I now have seen through this tragedy how relationships online lack boundaries, especially in protecting children's privacy. Moving forward, I will be establishing more boundaries with what I share online."
"In the future, I hope to be in a place to share more about how I am navigating this grief, but right now, all I can say is thank you for the love, compassion, patience and space you've given us to grieve," she concluded. "I am more grateful for it than can ever be expressed."
