Hannah Brown reveals 'Dancing with the Stars' has put her in an emotional slump

By Megan Stone

Hannah Brown is having an extremely busy year and it seems the pressure she's been bottling up finally exploded after Monday night's "Dancing with the Stars."

The former star of "The Bachelorette" opened up about her mental health struggles on Instagram, writing, "This experience has been harder than I could have ever imagined." She included a photo of her next to her smiling dancing partner Alan Bersten.

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This experience has been harder than I could have ever imagined. When I decided to do DWTS I thought it would be a fun way to channel all my energy after a whirlwind experience as the Bachelorette. I was hopeful that the confidence I gained this year to take pride in the woman I have become would have the opportunity to shine, and I’d feel that reboot in my spirit after it took a bit of a beating after my bachelorette season. I came into this experience a little broken and confused—more than I’ve shared. Everyday has brought its challenges with my past, my fears, and the uncomfortableness of opening myself up again to be judged on something VERY scary like learning a new skill to perform each week. Last night was really defeating for me and a lot of suppressed emotions started to surface from this amazing, but grueling experience. I want to be me. I want to be real. I feel my best when I feel like I have the opportunity to share my heart with others. But I know that’s been lacking in what has been seen on DWTS. It’s true there is a disconnect. I am busting my ass. I am giving this my all. It’s my focus and passion right now. But each week I fall flat. I’ve gotten to the point of being so anxious before I perform that I can’t completely enjoy it like I wish and know I could. I KNOW I have a lot more I can give. I want to be able to feel free and confident to dance with my whole heart. I’m working on getting there. I’m not throwing a pity party. I can take criticism and understand hard work...and I also know that my attitude has to change to rise above this slump I’m in. But this is real life. These are real emotions. It’s okay to be grateful and positive, while also acknowledging the hard days we all have. It’s so important to think positively, but it’s also important to acknowledge and feel all the feels. This pressure to pretend is not good for anyone. That’s how this crazy cycle of perfectionism continues to exist in a lot of us. I’m blown away by the support I see and feel from all of you who love me through it all. So thank you— here’s to another opportunity to grow. See y’all next Monday!

A post shared by Hannah Brown (@hannahbrown) on Oct 29, 2019 at 4:21pm PDT

Brown bares it all in her lengthy caption, speaking about the positives and many negatives that came with her journey on the dancing competition.

"When I decided to do DWTS I thought it would be a fun way to channel all my energy after a whirlwind experience as the Bachelorette," The 25-year-old explained before emotionally revealing that the experience was not the one she hoped.

"Last night was really defeating for me," she wrote before referencing the tough love she received from Carrie Ann Inaba on Monday, who told Brown that she was "disconnected from the movements" and was not baring it all on the dance floor.

"It’s true there is a disconnect," Brown agreed before defending her performance, "I am busting my a**. I am giving this my all. It’s my focus and passion right now. But each week I fall flat. I’ve gotten to the point of being so anxious before I perform that I can’t completely enjoy it like I wish and know I could."

However, her confession is not her "throwing a pity party" or throwing in the towel. She clarified that she wanted to talk about her mental health and acknowledged that she has the opportunity to grow and learn.

She then thanked those for supporting her through the rough times before promising "See y'all next Monday!"

DWTS returns Nov. 4 at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.